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THE MAYHEM: The NBA Draft Has Limits and That's a Shame

The NBA age limit stinks - just ask Dickie V., he'll tell you why

June 27th, 2006

By Adrian Brijbassi
BodogNation Contributing Writer

Kevin Willis, Zan Tabak, Oliver Miller. They were among the first.

Antonio Davis, Loren Woods, Chris Bosh*. They’ve been the latest.

In between, hollow men like: Eric Montross, Rafael Araujo, Hakeem Olajuwon (more Nigerian nightmare than Dream at this stage), Mamadou N’Diaye, Keon Clark, Charles Oakley.

These 12 very tall humans from three continents and five countries have all tried to play center for one perennially sad-to-mediocre NBA franchise: the Toronto Raptors.

Now the Raps have scooped the first overall pick in Wednesday’s draft – a tool that can end a search for a missing link in the middle that has dated to the team’s triassic era. Except for one thing, Toronto has been blunt-end plungered out of its best option – a 7-foot specimen from the Hoosier state – because the NBA thinks he’s not old enough or responsible enough to collect a paycheck larger than what a Sam Walton employee takes home.

So the Raptors are going to end up with LaMarcus Aldridge, who has Antonio McDyess scrawled all over him like a full-body tattoo, or Andrea Bargnani, who sounds like he should be rolling out an operatic version of Oh, Canada! rather than D-ing up on Tim Duncan. The guy who should be in Madison Square Garden on Wednesday and leasing a jackpad near Yonge Street on Thursday is Greg Oden, who if you do a quick web search you’ll find getting down like Jesus Shuttleworth with Ohio State’s Midwest farmers’ daughters instead of attending predraft workouts and playing all nice in front of the national media.

Oden’s 18, so he gets turned away at the adult Association’s door until he hits 19 – a situation so ridiculous even Dick Vitale (talk about ridiculous) thinks it’s stupid. And as you’re aware, unless you haven’t watched sports television for the past 30 years, when Vitale does his thinking, he does it out loud.

“I don’t like it and I’ll tell you why” – when Dickie V. says that, you know it’s not an empty promise – “I truly believe you should not take away a person’s opportunity to make a living. How sad would it be if LeBron James was not able to play when he was 18? I think, and this is something I’ve proposed, that people like Jerry West – GMs of respected, super teams – should be the ones to decide which five high schoolers are likely to be lottery picks each year. Just the lottery picks, because if they’re that good they shouldn’t be denied. Take a look at tennis and golf and –”

We’ll cut you off there, Dick. No offense, America does it with the mute button every winter Saturday and Monday. Good points, though, and here’s some back up for you: Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, Amare Stoudemire, Kobe Bryant, Tracy McGrady, Dwight Howard, Jermaine O’Neal, Rashard Lewis. High-school players taken in the first round since 1995. KG, LeBron, T-Mac and Howard were all lottery picks, and all have done (or in Howard’s case, is likely to do) what first-round selections are supposed to: swing the fortunes of the franchises that drafted them.

Kwame Brown: Bust – and the exception. So, yeah, the drafting of high schoolers has not failed. Shove that up your David Stern, right Dickie V.?

“If a kid is ready to play, he should be able to be drafted,” Vitale said in an exclusive interview (not like getting Shiloh Nouvel’s mommy on the hot seat like AC 360 did, but still for a few minutes on a Friday morning Dickie V.’s attention was with no one else other than his five grandkids swimming in a pool on a Disney cruise ship – “Stroke, Sammy, stroke – take it to the wall, baby!”).

Oden is being punished because the NBA scouts and general managers thought the likes of Korleone Young, Taj McDavid, James Lang and Kendrick Perkins were ready to go from prom to pro. Just as owners do when they complain about the cost of team salaries, NBA executives aren’t taking the blame for their actions.

That means Raps GM Bryan Colangelo has to choose between a European (and Vitale and other bloviators will happily tell you how that’s worked out for teams: Darko, Mickael Pietrus, Zarko Cabarkapa, Zoran Planinic, Ndudi Ebi – eeesh! – and that’s just in the first round of the 2003 draft) and a handful of college players who all have a shot at being great, but none of their shots are slam dunks. If he’s smart – and he is – Colangelo will trade down and get someone who may have less potential but brings more certainty to the lineup – a work-all-day pest like Randy Foye or two-way force like Brandon Roy.

With last week’s trade for Rasho Nesterovic, another one of those space fillers in the middle, Colangelo may be setting the table for just such a move.

* - (to his credit, Bosh has succeeded while playing out of position).

Guys You Absolutely Don’t Want Your Team to Draft

The guy from England. That’s it, you’re not getting his name. It’s a free land, there’s no obligation here to write it.

But you can have who he’s going to be: Georghe Muresan.

Oh, Fall to Me, Please!

Adam Morrison, Gonzaga – From Dickie V.: “Morrison can flat-out score. He’ll be a solid No. 3 wherever he plays and for as long as he plays in the NBA.”

Craig Smith, Boston College – He might fall out of the first round because of his wrist injury and his status as a tweener (6-6, 250 pounds), but Smith is tough and has been an underdog before – he traveled east after no school in his native California would give him a full ride.

Italian Restaurant Guys (Players Who All Have at Least One Thing Everybody Likes)

Taquan Dean, Louisville – A workout freak, Dean’s got the lowest body-fat count (3.9 percent) of any draft-eligible player.

Jordan Farmar, UCLA – Proved he can run an offense and be a shut-down defender during the NCAA Tournament.
Most Likely to Drift Into Oblivion

Josh Boone, Connecticut – Has less moves than a caimon (you don’t have to look it up, there’s a movie coming out with the same name that’ll explain it – so don’t strain yourself).

Rajon Rondo, Kentucky – Bad shot and apparently isn’t keen on physical fitness.
Most Likely to Be Arrested Before Camp

Jack & Jolt Redick, Duke – That’s a gimme. Vitale says J.J. can “instantly come in and be a factor” – he didn’t mean on the NBA’s tendency to make the police blotter.

Most Likely to Be Tagged With a Super Hero Nickname

Saer Sene – Elastic Man. A 7-footer from Senegal, Sene stretches out to a 7-8 wing span when he unfurls.
The Feet 16 - World Cup Happenings

The Feet 16 - World Cup Happenings

Word on the street (if the street is Mulberry) is they’re still playing soccer in Germany. Another week’s worth of advice for soccer people: make more commercials. Remember the 1994 Nike ad with the Brazilians knocking the ball around like Jordan and Bird playing horse? That was cool. Remember against Japan on Thursday when Ronaldo passed back across the field to Adriano who then knocked 40 yards laterally to Gilberto who tapped it to Ronaldinho who served it to Cafu who sent it back to Robinho who passed it to Cicinho (you’re breakin’ my heart) who walked it back to Dida the keeper who sent it long to Kaka who passed off again to Cicinho (you’re shakin’ my confidence daily) who worked the sidelines for a throw-in. Yeah, no wonder this sport has so many fights in the stands – it’s called smashing the monotony.

To make it interesting, bet on it. Bet on goals scored, bet on halftime scores, bet on first scorer, bet on the moneyline and the spread. You don’t have to torture yourself by pretending it’s interesting.
Shut Up, Canada

Edmonton’s called the city of champions and apparently it irks the rest of Canada. Kind of like how East Timor saying it’s the best quadrant of all of Timor sends the rest of the country into a rage while we all kind of say, What?

The last two Stanley Cups have been won by southern (redneck, y’all) teams in the United States and both those teams have been coached by Americans. No more complaints about small-market handicaps. Deal with the facts, Canada – the Cup’s found a home and has no intentions of vacationing north of Buffalo.

The Undercard

That’s Upsetting: The Decoolifying of Shaquille O’Neal. He’s managed to work his lovable giant persona and quick wit into becoming a popular icon along the lines of Muhammad Ali. But he hung on so close to D-Wade that the kid must’ve felt like he was suffocating. In that moment during the Heat’s NBA championship celebrations, Shaq turned into a legacy builder like any jerk politician – so sad to see.

Line Her Up: Women who are hardcore sports fans have a maternal instinct toward their team. To warm up to them, bash the opposition. If she’s a Mets fan, find the guy in the bar with the Yankees’ hat on and make fun of him (shouldn’t be hard). You’ll be her ally.

Proof of Disorder in the Universe: Josef Vasicek has hoisted the Stanley Cup high above his head - and no doubt put his lips somewhere close to the name Lafleur - while Chris Pronger, Paul Kariya, Scott Mellanby and retired Ray Ferraro are among those “non-champions” who can’t even touch the chalice without breaking a code of the NHL fraternity.

Coolest Song of the Week: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (last week: Cure for Pain by Morphine).

PHOTO: Dick Vitale loves Adam Morrison's game (AI Wire photo).

 

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